We all struggle with big emotions now and then, but for ADHDers, this experience can be overwhelming. Whether it’s snapping at your partner over something insignificant, having a minor setback that makes your mood plummet, or a friend’s off-hand comment that ruins your entire day. Emotional dysregulation can be hard to handle.

You’re not alone. Research suggests emotional dysregulation affects between 34 and 70% of ADHD people, with experts theorising that this aspect of the condition could have a bigger impact on people than attention deficits or hyperactivity. In this article, we’ll take a look at what emotional dysregulation is, how it may affect you, and some strategies to manage it.

What is Emotional Dysregulation?

Emotional dysregulation is when you are unable to modify your emotional state to suit your needs and goals. Put simply, it means that your emotional responses don’t always match the situation or benefit you. You may experience some of the following:

• Intense anger or frustration which comes from nowhere

• Overwhelming sadness or disappointment

• Difficulty calming down when you’re already upset

• Mood swings that happen randomly

• Extreme reactions to rejection or criticism

ADHD is often associated with less activity in the prefrontal cortex. This part of the brain is integral in managing attention, behaviour, and, crucially, your emotions. That means it may be harder to take a pause between experiencing an emotion and reacting to it.

It’s not just you being overdramatic when you’re sad, upset, or angry. Your brain processes emotions differently, making it hard to respond appropriately in situations. All of the above can have a negative impact on your work performance, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

The Science Behind Big Feelings

ADHD brains have lower levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. These neurotransmitters work in the prefrontal cortex to help to regulate mood and emotional responses. Low levels equals low activity, which can lead to the following:

• Filter emotional stimuli

• Maintain emotional stability

• Return to baseline after upset

• Anticipate consequences before reacting

Your brain handles emotional information differently and may lack the activity to process it. That means that feelings can hit harder and last longer for ADHDers.

How It Affects Your Daily Life

Emotional dysregulation can impact all areas of your life, which is why it’s such a struggle for ADHDers. Let’s break down some of the experiences you may have here:

Workplace Struggles

You might find yourself overreacting to feedback, struggling with workplace conflicts, or feeling devastated when you make even the smallest of small mistakes. That can lead to high levels of workplace stress and stop you from doing your job well. When you pair that with perfectionism, which some ADHDers experience, it can be a recipe for disaster.

Relationship Problems

If you’re prone to emotional outbursts, the people around you might feel like they’re walking on eggshells. Similarly, you may “overreact” to them cancelling plans or any perceived slights. Should they fail to understand your ADHD, you could end up clashing more often than not.

Self-Esteem Issues

The constant emotional turbulence can lead to exhaustion. You could find yourself avoiding situations that sometimes trigger strong feelings. That ends up limiting your life and means that you could miss out on some wonderful experiences. It can also knock your self-esteem.

Strategies That May Help

The first step is understanding that ADHD brains don’t function the same as neurotypical brains. Acknowledging that is a way to get rid of any shame you’re feeling surrounding your emotions. Here are some other ways to improve your emotional regulation.

Medication

Stimulant medications that treat ADHD core symptoms can sometimes improve emotional regulation, too. Research shows these medications help strengthen prefrontal cortex function, giving you more control over emotional responses.

Therapy

Cognitive behavioural therapy can teach specific skills for managing intense emotions. But there are other options, too. Dialectical behaviour therapy, originally developed for emotional dysregulation, has shown promise for ADHD adults.

Lifestyle Factors

The basics matter: Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and stress management all support better emotional regulation. While it’s not always easy to make these changes (and stick to them), they can make a real difference in how you experience emotions.

Honest Conversations

If you feel comfortable to do so, speak openly and honestly to those around you about your emotional dysregulation. Having your loved ones understand this experience will improve your relationships.

Takeaway

Experiencing this part of ADHD can have a negative effect on all areas of your life, but there are ways to manage it. While many get stuck in a blame cycle, it’s important to realise that your brain works differently. Getting an ADHD assessment can clarify whether emotional dysregulation is part of your ADHD profile.