You’re trying to give your child simple instructions, but it looks like they aren’t listening. While it may seem like they’ve “tuned out,” it’s important to recognise that they aren’t ignoring you on purpose. Changing how you communicate with them could help both you and your child. But how do you get started?

ADHD affects how your child processes information, which can make communication tricky. However, there are strategies you can use. In this guide, we take a look at why your ADHD child needs clear communication, and the ways you can adapt your style to match that.

Why Clear Communication Matters

First up, let’s talk about why ADHD children value clear communication. Some ADHD children may struggle with working memory, which means they can forget instructions seconds after hearing them. They may also find it hard to filter out background information because of sensory overload. If they miss things, they may feel immediately overwhelmed or frustrated.

This can quickly spiral, especially when they are prone to emotional dysregulation. So, if you then tell your child off for not paying attention, you could find that things get blown out of proportion. Pausing and reframing how you communicate with them can make all the difference.

Strategies for Clear Communication

You don’t have to completely change how you communicate, but small tweaks can have a major impact. Let’s take a look at some of the strategies you may find helpful:

Get Their Attention First

Before you tell your child something, you need to make sure that you have their full attention. It may help to use their name and limit distractions in the room. For example, if the TV is on, you can mute it for a moment. Get down to their level and speak softly and directly.

Keep Things Short and Simple

Long, multi-step instructions can overwhelm an ADHD brain. Your child’s working memory struggles to hold onto all that information at once. Break things down. Instead of saying "Go upstairs, brush your teeth, put on your pyjamas, and get into bed," try giving just one instruction at a time. This gives them a chance to process what you’re saying.

Use Positive Language

ADHD children often hear what they're doing wrong more than what they're doing right, which can have a devastating impact on their self-esteem. Try to frame your communication positively to combat this. Rather than telling them what not to do, focus on what to do instead.

Check for Comprehension

Don't assume your child has understood just because they nodded or said "okay." This can lead to problems when your child feels bad about not understanding something. Let them know that you’re happy to repeat things for them if they don’t understand. You can also ask them what they heard. Try not to be patronising, but ensure that they comprehend instructions.

Use Visual Cues

Visual cues can be immensely helpful for ADHD children, especially if they respond better to visual information. You can show them pictures of things, use a visual timer, or even just show them how to do a task before you ask them to do it.

Stay Calm and Patient

Your tone of voice matters as much as the words that you say. Keeping calm and patient with your ADHD child when they aren’t getting something could make all the difference. While sharing information can take longer, they will appreciate your patience and understanding. Creating a safe space at home can help them build confidence.

Takeaway

If you're struggling to communicate effectively with your ADHD child despite trying these strategies, professional support can help. When your child has had their ADHD assessment, there are plenty of support options, including coaching and neuroaffirmative therapy.