Children with ADHD experience the world differently. As a parent, it’s important to understand how to meet their emotional needs. Learning more about neurodiversity can help you support their ongoing well-being and development.

If you suspect your child has ADHD, or they have been diagnosed, you may wonder what needs to change. Neurodiversity can affect their everyday experiences, often making certain tasks trickier. Understanding the emotional toll this takes is the best way to support your child.

The Emotional Effects of ADHD

First things first, let’s talk about the emotional effect having ADHD may have on your child. ADHD children can feel emotions more intensely than others. That may look like overwhelming excitement and joy or, on the other hand, extreme disappointment and rejection sensitivity.

Emotional regulation tends to be an issue, too. Externally, that can look like the following:

• Extreme emotional outbursts

• Mood swings

• Sudden upset

• Low confidence

• Avoiding certain situations

What may have previously been categorised as “bad behaviour,” is anything but that. Your child simply processes emotional information in a different way. It may take them longer to fully understand what is triggering them or they could find it hard to manage their emotions.

The Importance of Validation

What your child is feeling can be extremely intense to them, which is why validation is so important. You may have the urge to tell them to move on or to try to “fix” their emotions. However, this can be counterproductive. Instead, show them that you understand them.

The following phrases are simple ways to validate their experience:

• "I can see you're really frustrated right now"

• "That sounds really difficult."

• “I understand that has made you feel sad.”

• “That must be hard to deal with.”

While their response to the situation looks disproportionate, you should avoid minimising it. Empathise with your ADHD child so that they feel safe to share their emotions with you.

Create Safe Spaces for Big Feelings

It might look like big feelings come from nowhere, but there’s often a trigger. Let your child know that they can share these emotions with you in a healthy way, without fear of being punished.

One approach you may use is creating a “calm-down corner” your child can use when their feelings are extreme. Make the area comfortable for them with blankets, fidget toys, headphones, and even art supplies. Whenever they need to, they can go to this space.

Note: This space is not a punishment. It’s a place that is dedicated to them and their well-being. They can use it whenever they want and have the time to regulate their emotions.

Celebrate Their Strengths

ADHD children can struggle with self-esteem since they often receive constant correction or blame. If they are used to hearing what they’ve done wrong more than what they’ve done right, they may start to internalise that information and feel bad about themselves.

Counter this problem by celebrating their strengths. This is a good way to build their confidence and make your ADHD child feel “seen” by you. Whatever their unique personality traits are, make sure you mention them. Here are some phrases to use:

• “You’re so gentle with animals. It’s lovely to see!”

• “That was really funny!”

• “Wow, this is great. You’re so creative”

Focus on your child’s efforts over the results. Whenever they try hard, make sure you acknowledge it and show them that you have noticed their efforts. Using this approach makes them feel valued and shows them that you care about them.

Consider Professional Support

You can’t be everything for your ADHD child. If they show signs of depression or anxiety, contact a mental health professional. Either a therapist or ADHD coach can work with you and your child simultaneously to share coping strategies and boost your support.

If your child is showing ADHD traits, booking a private ADHD assessment is the quickest way to get the answers you deserve. We provide a neuroaffirmative service that supports your child.